CNBC.COM
There's a lot of advice out there about how to increase the amount of joy in your life.
For example, leading happiness researcher and expert Arthur Brooks has 10 tried-and-true ways to be happier, he wrote in his book "The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life."
Gretchen Rubin, happiness expert and author of "The Happiness Project," offers up 12 secrets to creating a happier life, including practicing self-compassion and embracing failure.
But if you ask Sonja Lyubomirsky, she'll tell you that the best way to be happier is to "feel more connected to other people."
Lyubomirsky is a happiness researcher and distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.
There are many ways to go about this, she says. Practicing gratitude and performing acts of kindness can make one feel more deeply connected to others, for example.
But the No. 1 way to forge connection, Lyubomirsky says, is to have a conversation with someone, be it your mom, your roommate, or even your mailman. And it doesn't even have to be all that long.
"If you have a 15-minute or a 30-minute conversation with a stranger," she says. "You're going to be happier."
When engaging in one of these chats, make sure it's not a superficial one, Lyubomirsky says. Make it a meaningful conversation, where you're both sharing something that reveals a deeper part of yourself and listening intently.
Lyubomirsky suggests sharing how you feel about a book you've just read or movie you've watched. Try talking a bit about how you're feeling that day, she says.
For a deeper, more probing conversation, Lyubomirsky says you can start with any of the following questions:
- What's been on your mind a lot lately?
- What's the best thing that happened to you this year?
- What's the worst thing that happened to you this year?
- What are you looking forward to most in 2026?
- What's a mistake that you made this year that actually turned out to be a good thing?
- Which family member surprised you the most this year and why?
Lyubomirsky also likes the physical card deck series {THE AND}, which offers talking prompts for various types of relationships.
These conversations don't have to happen in person, she says. Lyubomirsky and her team have found that even when people have a 30-minute Zoom call with someone, it "totally lifts their mood."
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