CNBC.COM
When ABC's political thriller "Scandal" first aired in 2012, lead actress Kerry Washington felt the pressure.
Much of the press focused on "the fact that it had been almost 40 years since a Black woman had been the lead on a network drama," Washington told Alex Cooper in a mid-March episode of the podcast "Call Her Daddy."
The 49-year-old actress felt like if the show didn't do well, "it might be another 40 years" before a woman of color had the chance to be the lead in a show again. Rather than dwell on that pressure, Washington chose to refocus.
"It was an exercise of really trying to be clear about what I can control and what I can't," she said. "Like, I cannot control whether people turn on their televisions on Thursday night and watch my show. What I can control is my work ethic, pouring my heart into it."
The show went on to last seven seasons and win a Peabody Award. Washington herself was nominated for multiple awards for playing Olivia Pope, including an Emmy and a Golden Globe.
Still, in high-stakes situations, or even in daily life, experts agree that her attitude is a good one to keep in mind.
Ask yourself: What did I do today to grow mentally stronger?
"There's a lot you can't control in life — other people's actions, unexpected setbacks, the weather," psychotherapist Amy Morin previously told CNBC Make It. But focusing on what you can control "shifts your energy toward solutions and empowers you to keep improving."
Her trick is to ask herself one simple question every day: "What did I do today to grow mentally stronger?" she said. That lets you celebrate what you did right, rather than ruminating about what went wrong.
Psychotherapist Steven Stosny also recommends trying his three laws of personal power:
- Focus on what you can improve, like your emotional reaction to something.
- Think about what you'll do to change your actions in the future, instead of how you've messed up in the past.
- Think big picture about what you can do to fix a situation right now.
Ultimately, power is acting in "your long-term best interest," Stosny previously told Make It. "You're hardly ever going to do that with a negative emotion."
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