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After over a decade of renting New York City apartments both separately and together, my husband and I made the biggest move of our lives — both physically and financially.
In October 2024, we started looking to buy a place about an hour outside of NYC in Connecticut. At the end of December, our hunt officially ended when we closed on our new house. We moved in mid-January 2025.
Now, a few months post-move, with most of our boxes unpacked, I'm feeling settled into our new space and routine and thinking back on how we got here. Ultimately, our path to becoming homeowners was pretty smooth, but there are a few things I wish I had known before we even started visiting open houses.
1. 'Casual' might turn serious, quickly
My husband and I started our hunt on a beautiful, sunny weekend in October. We knew we wanted to buy a house within the next 10 months but wanted to start off slow, by checking out a few houses in the towns we were most interested in to get a sense of the market.
On Saturday, we scheduled one tour and stopped by two open houses, discussing the pros and cons of each house on our drives between them.
On Sunday, after brunch at my sister-in-law's house, we stopped by another open house just a short drive away. The house had been on the market for a few months, so we weren't expecting much.
Instead, by the time we had walked through the house and chatted with the sellers' agent, we were debating if we should put an offer in. The only issue was that we hadn't prepared for things to go so quickly. We weren't preapproved for a mortgage. We hadn't signed with an agent of our own yet.
That meant for the next 24 hours or so, we were in scramble mode, getting together all our W-2s and paystubs to get preapproved so we could put in the offer. It all got done, and ultimately our offer was accepted, but planning a little more, even for the most casual stage of house hunting, would have put us in a much more relaxed and ready position.
2. Run the numbers — and then run the numbers again
Even if you get your pre-approval before you house-hunt, you may want to take some time getting into the nitty gritty of what your mortgage payment actually means for your wallet. Even after you've taken your mortgage into account, you still need to consider property taxes, utility payments, home insurance and maintenance costs, among others.
For instance, don't forget your closing costs, which can include a loan processing fee and insurance fees, among others, usually totaling 3% to 6% of the purchase price. Or that you'll have to pay anyone involved in the transaction of buying the house, whether that's a lawyer, an inspector or a real estate agent.
Think about how much you might need to spend transitioning to your new living situation. Will you need to hire movers or rent a U-Haul? Are there any fees associated with breaking your lease?
Consider what updates or changes you might have to make to the house before or soon after you move in. Factor in what it might cost to hire painters or how much you may want to spend on new appliances and furniture.
Even just in the few months since we moved, we've added gutter guards, replaced our fridge and dishwasher, and gotten quotes for exterior painting. That's in addition to buying all the odds and ends that make up regular home maintenance. Those costs really add up — the fridge and dishwasher together cost over $1,000.
Thinking realistically about all those numbers before you sign any mortgage documents will make it easier to determine what you can really afford when it comes to buying a house — and save you a lot of stress, money and time hunched over budget spreadsheets.
3. Rely on your network
Lean on the homeowners in your life for advice — whether that's recommendations for real estate agents, lawyers and mortgage brokers if they live in the area, or advice on how to house-hunt and what to look out for.
We were lucky that my sister-in-law and her family bought a house in the same town two years before us. They recommended the real estate attorney they worked with, who in turn recommended the mortgage broker who ended up giving us the best rate.
They were also able to give us insight into what living in the area is like — including information that we wouldn't have found online, like which streets get busy because of slow traffic lights.
Buying a house isn't all about who you know, but your network can make it a lot easier.
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