CNBC.COM
Talking about money can be awkward or embarrassing if you're not used to it. But having financial conversations with friends, coworkers and even the person you just started dating can help you learn if you're being paid fairly, how "normal" your financial habits are or how to start investing outside of your 401(k).
One of the most important people you should be having routine financial conversations with is your romantic partner or spouse. If you're not aligned on financial goals and strategies — from when to move in together to where to go on vacation — there's a good chance money will be a point of contention in your relationship.
"Once you and your partner know how to talk about money, everything changes," self-made millionaire Ramit Sethi writes in his new book, "Money for Couples." "You'll both know why you're saving, investing and even spending."
After more than 20 years speaking with thousands of couples, Sethi has identified a few phrases you can use to have healthier financial conversations and, in turn, a better relationship with money. Use these two phrases to start having better financial conversations with your partner.
1. 'What is our rich life?'
When you are in a serious relationship or marriage, you should be asking your partner what your rich life looks like together.
"This is a conversation that you should be having regularly. What is our rich life? What's important to us?" Sethi tells CNBC Make It.
A rich life, in Sethi's eyes, is one where you and your partner don't argue about money and aren't too worried about how the bills are getting paid each month because you have a comprehensive understanding of your numbers, including your household income and all of your fixed costs.
You know generally how much you're able to spend "guilt-free" each month and what you're interested in spending it on as a couple. If you decide traveling together is a priority, you may agree to skip dining out so you can put that money toward trips instead.
A rich life isn't about the amount of money you're spending on things, but rather "an expression of your ideal life in which your money, relationships and leisure time work beautifully," Sethi writes.
2. 'In our family, we…'
Similar to your rich life conversations, Sethi encourages couples to establish a culture within their homes to help guide how you spend your money together. He offers the open-ended phrase "In our family, we…" to set you up to determine what your family's standards are. You may say "In our family, we cook together," or "In our family, we take road trips versus flying," for example.
If you say, "In our family, we never get into credit card debt," follow that up by putting systems in place to avoid carrying a balance month to month or using credit cards altogether. You may ultimately avoid arguing about a big credit card bill in the future.
"In our family, the first Sunday of each month, we always sit down with a coffee and we talk about money, starting with a compliment," Sethi adds as an idea. "That is how you create a healthy money culture in your household."
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